I was going to post this in the humour section but I take it seriously.



John Kerry's Campaign Schedule #1



6:30am
Awake to the cheerful sounds of Air America Radio

6:40am
Change bed sheet before Teresa finds wet spot

6:50am
Scrub face and neck with baby wipes, unless it's Tuesday (shower day)

7:00am
Mix raisins, milk and Kitten Chow. Enjoy breakfast

7:30am
Call Algore for pep talk

7:45am
Ring bell for limo driver

7:50am
Ring bell for Mexican limo driver

8:10am
Arrive for 8:00 interview with the New York Times

9:00am
Visit local veterans cemetery. Spit on a few graves. Leave

10:00am
Apologize for spitting on graves. Promise never to do it again

11:00am
Visit local veterans cemetery. Spit on graves again

11:30am
Order small tofu/carrot pizza. Eat lunch

12:00pm
Drive around for a while. Look for safe place to purge. (Gotta keep the weight down)

1:00pm
Make surprise visit at daycare center. Kiss a few babies

2:00pm
Arrive at Airport

3:00pm
Listen to motivational tape. Take a nap

3:45pm
Write letter to KerryCore.com and complain about ##### kicking Kerry receives everyday from the right-wing idiots at MetroSpy

4:30pm
Review campaign events with staff

4:35pm
Scratch volunteer on back of the neck for falling asleep during important talk

4:37pm
Pop puss filled Botox-pimple and wipe leakage from forehead

5:00pm
Airplane lands

6:40pm
Arrive for 6:30 speech

7:00pm
...speaking

9:00pm
...still speaking

11:22pm
speech finally ends but still speaking

11:30pm
Carried off stage by staff

12:00am
Delivered to hotel by Marvin Nicholson. Checked in. Put to bed

Past Campaign Schedules


http://www.kerrycore.com/

Bob, your first impulse was correct: it should have been inserted in the humour section.

Also, are you referring to Teresa's wet spot? After all, incontinence is overwhelmingly a female problem as people age.

Yes, you're right, oh well

I'll just have to post some serious stuff in the humour section for balance.