Date: Tue, Sep 30, 2008 at 6:53 AM
Subject: liberals sneaking
From the MANITOBA HERALD, Canada (a very underground paper):
A flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada
has intensified in the past weeks, sparking calls for increased patrols
to stop the illegal immigration.
The possibility of a McCain/Palin election is prompting the exodus
among left-leaning citizens who fear they'll soon be required to hunt,
pray, and agree with Bill O'Reilly.
Canadian border farmers say it's not uncommon to see dozens of
sociology professors, animal rights activists and Unitarians crossing
their fields at night.
I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood
producer huddled in the barn,' said Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield,
whose acreage borders North Dakota.
The producer was cold, exhausted and hungry. 'He asked me if I could
spare a latte and some free-range chicken.
When I said I didn't have any, he left. Didn't even get a chance to
show him my screenplay, eh?'
In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher
fences, but the liberals scaled them. So he tried installing speakers
that blare Rush Limbaugh across the fields. 'Not real effective,' he
said. 'The liberals still got through, and Rush annoyed the cows so
much they wouldn't give milk.'
Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet liberals
near the Canadian border; pack them into Volvo station wagons; drive
them across the border and leave them to fend for themselves.
'A lot of these people are not prepared for rugged conditions,' an
Ontario border patrolman said. 'I found one carload without a drop of
drinking water. 'They did have a nice little Napa Valley cabernet,
though.'
When liberals are caught, they're sent back across the border, often
wailing loudly that they fear retribution from conservatives. Rumors
have been circulating about the McCain administration establishing
re-education camps in which liberals will be forced to shoot wolves
from airplanes, deny evolution, and act out drills preparing them for
the Rapture.
In recent days, liberals have turned to sometimes-ingenious ways of
crossing the border. Some have taken to posing as senior citizens on
bus trips to buy cheap Canadian prescription drugs. After catching a
half-dozen young vegans disguised in powdered wigs, Canadian
immigration authorities began stopping buses and quizzing the supposed
senior-citizen passengers on Perry Como and Rosemary Clooney hits to
prove they were alive in the '50s.
'If they can't identify the accordion player on The Lawrence Welk
Show, we get suspicious about their age,' an official said.
Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are
creating an organic-broccoli shortage and renting all the good Susan
Sarandon movies.
'I feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian economy just
can't support them,' an Ottawa resident said. 'How many
art-history and English majors does one country need?
Full Version: Liberals Sneaking Across Canadian Border
I know you won't like it, but I know YOU'RE CORRECT~~~Here's my contribution:
Internet Explorer Makes Desperate Overture To Become Default
Overture To Become Default Browser
September 26, 2008
Related Articles
* Local Idiot To Post Comment On Internet August 6, 2008
* MIT Fraternity Accused Of Robot Hazing April 12, 2006
NASHVILLE, TN—After months of futile entreaties to upgrade to its latest version, web browser Internet Explorer made a last-ditch proposal to become local man Jeremy Drewing's primary Internet application Monday. "Internet Explorer is not currently your default browser. Would you like to make it your default browser?" the software program asked in an attempt to guilt Drewing into accepting its offer out of pure pity. Sources say Explorer went so far as to highlight the "Yes" button in the pop-up window in the hopes of baiting him into pressing it, and even emitted a sad little "beep" in a pathetic bid for attention. Drewing opted to keep Firefox as his default browser, thus relegating Internet Explorer back to its primary functions: looking up pornography and Googling ex-girlfriends.
Here.
QUOTE (MrLeft @ Sep 30 2008, 06:16 PM) 
Date: Tue, Sep 30, 2008 at 6:53 AM
Subject: liberals sneaking
From the MANITOBA HERALD, Canada (a very underground paper):
A flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada
has intensified in the past weeks, sparking calls for increased patrols
to stop the illegal immigration.
The possibility of a McCain/Palin election is prompting the exodus
among left-leaning citizens who fear they'll soon be required to hunt,
pray, and agree with Bill O'Reilly.
Canadian border farmers say it's not uncommon to see dozens of
sociology professors, animal rights activists and Unitarians crossing
their fields at night.
I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood
producer huddled in the barn,' said Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield,
whose acreage borders North Dakota.
The producer was cold, exhausted and hungry. 'He asked me if I could
spare a latte and some free-range chicken.
When I said I didn't have any, he left. Didn't even get a chance to
show him my screenplay, eh?'
In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher
fences, but the liberals scaled them. So he tried installing speakers
that blare Rush Limbaugh across the fields. 'Not real effective,' he
said. 'The liberals still got through, and Rush annoyed the cows so
much they wouldn't give milk.'
Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet liberals
near the Canadian border; pack them into Volvo station wagons; drive
them across the border and leave them to fend for themselves.
'A lot of these people are not prepared for rugged conditions,' an
Ontario border patrolman said. 'I found one carload without a drop of
drinking water. 'They did have a nice little Napa Valley cabernet,
though.'
When liberals are caught, they're sent back across the border, often
wailing loudly that they fear retribution from conservatives. Rumors
have been circulating about the McCain administration establishing
re-education camps in which liberals will be forced to shoot wolves
from airplanes, deny evolution, and act out drills preparing them for
the Rapture.
In recent days, liberals have turned to sometimes-ingenious ways of
crossing the border. Some have taken to posing as senior citizens on
bus trips to buy cheap Canadian prescription drugs. After catching a
half-dozen young vegans disguised in powdered wigs, Canadian
immigration authorities began stopping buses and quizzing the supposed
senior-citizen passengers on Perry Como and Rosemary Clooney hits to
prove they were alive in the '50s.
'If they can't identify the accordion player on The Lawrence Welk
Show, we get suspicious about their age,' an official said.
Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are
creating an organic-broccoli shortage and renting all the good Susan
Sarandon movies.
'I feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian economy just
can't support them,' an Ottawa resident said. 'How many
art-history and English majors does one country need?
Subject: liberals sneaking
From the MANITOBA HERALD, Canada (a very underground paper):
A flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada
has intensified in the past weeks, sparking calls for increased patrols
to stop the illegal immigration.
The possibility of a McCain/Palin election is prompting the exodus
among left-leaning citizens who fear they'll soon be required to hunt,
pray, and agree with Bill O'Reilly.
Canadian border farmers say it's not uncommon to see dozens of
sociology professors, animal rights activists and Unitarians crossing
their fields at night.
I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood
producer huddled in the barn,' said Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield,
whose acreage borders North Dakota.
The producer was cold, exhausted and hungry. 'He asked me if I could
spare a latte and some free-range chicken.
When I said I didn't have any, he left. Didn't even get a chance to
show him my screenplay, eh?'
In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher
fences, but the liberals scaled them. So he tried installing speakers
that blare Rush Limbaugh across the fields. 'Not real effective,' he
said. 'The liberals still got through, and Rush annoyed the cows so
much they wouldn't give milk.'
Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet liberals
near the Canadian border; pack them into Volvo station wagons; drive
them across the border and leave them to fend for themselves.
'A lot of these people are not prepared for rugged conditions,' an
Ontario border patrolman said. 'I found one carload without a drop of
drinking water. 'They did have a nice little Napa Valley cabernet,
though.'
When liberals are caught, they're sent back across the border, often
wailing loudly that they fear retribution from conservatives. Rumors
have been circulating about the McCain administration establishing
re-education camps in which liberals will be forced to shoot wolves
from airplanes, deny evolution, and act out drills preparing them for
the Rapture.
In recent days, liberals have turned to sometimes-ingenious ways of
crossing the border. Some have taken to posing as senior citizens on
bus trips to buy cheap Canadian prescription drugs. After catching a
half-dozen young vegans disguised in powdered wigs, Canadian
immigration authorities began stopping buses and quizzing the supposed
senior-citizen passengers on Perry Como and Rosemary Clooney hits to
prove they were alive in the '50s.
'If they can't identify the accordion player on The Lawrence Welk
Show, we get suspicious about their age,' an official said.
Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are
creating an organic-broccoli shortage and renting all the good Susan
Sarandon movies.
'I feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian economy just
can't support them,' an Ottawa resident said. 'How many
art-history and English majors does one country need?
If only it were true.................
Expats can vote. Dream on.
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